The Coronavirus pandemic has been a memorable experience for many of us. I know for me personally, virtual mass has been a difficult transition. It is so wonderful that technology has progressed to the point where it can support us during these times, but nothing can replace the peace and solemnity the physical and in-person mass has. The pandemic still continues to be a struggle for many of us, but I wanted to take the time to reflect on some of the lessons I’ve personally learned during the pandemic. In this post, I have delved into some of the major lessons I’ve learned during this time.
Holding onto my faith during the pandemic
These past few weeks have felt so long. One day seems to be melted to the next in a way where I sometimes I have forgotten what day it is. With the grace of the Lord, I’ve kept in contact with my faith by attending virtual services and I am so grateful for that opportunity. Nevertheless, I’ve struggled with the virtual switches. At home, I’ve had a variety of experiences.
Some days, I’ve felt closer to the Lord more than ever. I’ve noticed how the trees move and how much love is expressed through creation. I’ve come to understand my family better and more closely. I’ve also had time to disconnect from electronics and spend time in quiet, within the comfort of my own home, and to pray and reflect on life. I’ve grown an appreciation for the sky, the plants, and all of the world around me. The simple beauty of creation is easy to disregard in the fast moving current of everyday life. These warm experiences are a fraction of God’s love for us.
There have also been days that haven’t been so bright. Some days, I’ve had difficulty staying engaged during mass, feeling the motivation to pray, and being fully present throughout the day. At the beginning of the social distancing protocols, things weren’t as bad but as weeks turned upon weeks, holding on to my faith became increasingly more difficult. I felt this darkness on my spirit that left me feeling disconnected from God. This feeling is not one that I would wish upon anyone.
Choosing to believe
Through prayer, I poured my heart out about how I felt and how I wanted to feel closer. I came to this realization that we are never alone. It wasn’t an immediate relief, but within a week, I found myself volunteering at the CSU and attending my first in-person daily mass at the chapel in weeks. Coming back has felt even better than I would’ve imagined. There is this ineffable peace that surrounds the chapel. When I enter the chapel, I know that I am with Jesus and I feel at home. There is this peaceful hum, and meditative atmosphere that helps me to find this warm embrace I haven’t felt in so long. I am so grateful and relieved. Receiving communion in person after weeks of being at home felt incredible. This beauty that seems evermore potent now has always been there. It’s also so refreshing to come back to such a welcoming community. I’m so excited for Sunday mass to open up at the end of the month.
Looking back, I know this beauty has always been present even when I didn’t see it. Those times of trials and darkness have allowed me to see this beauty more clearly than I would’ve without it. Faith is a choice. When times get rough, choosing to believe is a beautiful and courageous decision. It is not always easy, but is nevertheless worth it. Life might be difficult to experience sometimes, but we never lose our freedom of our choice to have faith. With prayer, reflection, penance, and reconciliation, we have such an immense opportunity to grow in our faith.
Written by: Skye Bustillo
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